Neverending Despair
by Nagiiisa-san
Summary: What if Add travels back into the wrong timeline again and again and his mind slowly shatters as he forgets that the timeline that he is currently in was not the correct one?


**Nagi: Hi guys. I'm back from the dead. So please enjoy.**

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 **Cast!**

 **Add - TTr (DE later on)**

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 _x391..._

Add stared at his hands, covered with blood. But whose? Who did he kill again? Why doesn't he remember?

His knees gave way, leaving him to fall onto the ground. The Tracer clutches his head, trying to jog back his memories. He stops at a certain one. A motherly figure with long, white hair. One that had been always been there for him till death.

That person was his mother.

His breaths were beginning to flow irregularly. "Nononono...!" Did he fail again? "Mom...!" The corpse before him, was it truly his mother? "I-I'm so-sorry...! Forgive me...!" His whole body begins to shake like a leaf. "I didn't mean to...! I... I...!"

Add hears a small whimper and looks up, finding his past self kneeling on the blood of their mother The young boy shakes her shoulder and she does not move. "Mom?"

The Tracer shakily stands up as he begins to cry. "Mom...?! Don't leave me alone...! Please...!" He rubs his wet face, but does not notice Add behind him. "...?"

The sight of his grieving face leaves him in a moment of hesitation. He recovers and holds one of his Dynamos high into the air.

"You're not the ones that I'm looking for."

Add plunges it deep into the head of his past self and the young boy's face crumples into deep shock. He collapses onto the ground, twitching, as the Tracer pulls it out.

"I must keep looking. I... can't stop there..." A time portal opens right next to him and he enters it, leaving the two bodies behind. The timeline begins to crumble as Add turned his head away.

 _I'll go back. Again and again._

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 _10th cycle..._

Perched on a branch, Add waited for the sounds of screaming and visible signs of fire. He waited and waited. Nothing had happened.

The Tracer sighs as he jumped off the branch as he landed neatly onto the pavement. _Where...?_

Two figures appeared in the distance, but they didn't sound as if they were terrified. They also didn't look as if they were running. They looked as if they were having the greatest time in their lives.

As they came closer, his past self tugs at their mother's dress. "Mom, whose that?"

She glances at him and her eyes widens in fear. "My son. Let's-" Her sentence was cut short as a bloody hole appears where her heart should be. Their mother falls onto the ground and her blood quickly pools out around her and his past self.

The young boy stares at the dead women and to Add, then back again. His body was shaking, but it stops as his head flew off of his body.

Add lowers his hand and screams, "WHERE ARE YOU MOM?!"

 _I want to see you again..._

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 _30th cycle..._

Add stares at his bloody hands. How many time has he killed them? How many times did this happen over and over again? This was fun. So _damn_ fun!

He scratches his face in pure joy. "Kekeke! I want more! More!" The Tracer grabs ahold of a piece of Time and Space and stabs the already dead corpses. Adrenaline fuels his body as he continues again and again. Blood splatters his face, but Add doesn't care.

After all, this was never his timeline to begin with.

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 _50th cycle..._

His mind was shattering faster now and Add could feel it happening. He tried, again and again, to travel to the correct one, the timeline that was ravaged by war. But he always lands into the same one and ends up killing them...

...How many times now?...

The Tracer found it exciting, entertaining even, to his mother and past self die in the continuous cycles. It was so _fucking_ fun to hear them scream for mercy and pain.

"Kufufufu..." He stomps on the chest of his dead past self. "Die... Fucking die for all I care... This never, _ever,_ fucking happened to _me..._ " He picks up the disfigured head, only a patch of white visible throughout the sea of red. "Fuck you and your happiness..." Add crushes it in his hands, grinning wickedly.

"My happiness was long gone to begin with."

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 _100th cycle..._

"Please...! Don't kill my son...!" A women pleas as she watches in horror. "I'll do anything...!"

The assailant laughed mirthlessly as he choked the boy harder, causing his neck to snap in the process. The women gasp at this and cries out her son's name, only to stop midway as her body was blown to pieces.

"Anything you say...? Kekeke..." He slams the dead boy onto the ground hard and plunges his hand into his chest, crushing his heart. "You don't how _many_ times I went back just to fucking kill you?!"

His scleras flashed from white to black as he cackles. "FUCK THIS! FUCK IT! FUCK IT ALL!" He wraps his arms around his chest as continued to laugh uncontrollably.

His usual white jacket and black pants changes into a full, metallic, black body suit. A pink gem sat on the middle of his chest. The man now known as Diabolic Esper came forth into a world that he himself had cursed to an eternity.

 _"_ _In that case, I'll destroy this damned world!"_

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 **Nagi: So to clear things up, this is more of an elaboration on DE's background. But I hope you liked it!**


End file.
